Dear World,
I would really like it if you would please stop being such a bastard. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you're really great. I mean you provide us all with beer and sunshine and boobies and Teen Mom on MTV. But the whole giving-me-something-while-taking-away-another is really pissing me off. I get that we can't have it all, but maybe you could work on giving me things that go well together as opposed to not.
Its like a game of Scrabble. You keep giving me vowels, which are needed, but most of the time they're pretty useless without a consonant or two. Ease up on the E's and toss me a few S's or T's.
Honestly World, am I so bad to you? I try not to litter. I don't drive a car or dump toxic waste in the ocean. I attempt to apreciate your roundness and infinite mystery. I'm against another World War. I liked Pluto, but if you think that little asshole with an elipitcal orbit just isn't in the same category as you then I'm with you, World. Fuck Pluto!
So please with all due respect, back the fuck off and stop fucking hassling me.
Yours,
M. Nappi
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