Friday, April 23, 2010

THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!

You can't teach me anything. It is simply impossible for me to take someone's word about anything that I might have the desire to try for myself. I have to find out my own way that cigarette burns hurt worse than you'd expect or snorting a pixie stick is an all-around bad idea. Life is entirely too visceral to take someone's word for it, so why should I?
It is in this spirit of self-discovery I am embarking on my current undertaking; testosterone. And not just some paltry work-out supplement, I'm talking the sweet stuff that will raise my body’s levels somewhere in the neighborhood of 800%. I will not address the question of the legality of such substances because frankly I don't know and don't care. I don't even really care about even the intended purpose of the stuff; to make me swole as shit.
No, I do this because I want to give the side-effects a try. Namely the irritability and the irrational, all-consuming anger. Now I know this sounds more than a little off the deep end; taking steroids to get angry, but I don't mind. I want to experience for myself getting violently angry over a video-game. I want to have a rage blackout and break things for no reason. I’ve felt euphoria and depression and fear and adrenaline so intensely in my life, so why not anger? I just hope my junk doesn’t shrink.

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