Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I Woke Up In A Car

I was just sitting on the roof of my Combat Housing Unit (CHU) tanning and smoking and thinking about sex when something occured to me. It hit me like winning the lottery and a suprise make-out sesh: I'm in Iraq right now.
And it wasn't like "Holy fuck freakout". It was more like "Look where I am". Here I lay 6,000 miles from home, doing something real with no safety net or fallback plan. Two odd years ago I made a choice to go off on my own and to not follow. I left home and everyone I love and college that was free and went balls first into something this life-changing.
And now look at me. I have some scrilla in the bank, I have a girl that loves me, I'm self-sufficient, I still have amazing friends and I have a job I can be proud of. And maybe for some people leaving what I did and coming to do what I do isn't really that big a deal. For some people I guess its just life. But I am the kind of person that can get mired down and loose direction and end up just taking the easy path that I'm already on. I don't like change so much and I fear starting over. So for me this is something huge and real and awesome.
I forget that sometimes. I get so use to this as my life I forget what used to be my life. I don't realize how different everything might have been had I not had the guts to take a chance on myself. I get too caught up in noticing the shit I'm missing I forget what everyone else is by not being here.

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