Saturday, April 18, 2009

Nicknames: The King of Scouts; He-who-sees-in-the-dark; Fred

Is there any more adventure in the world? I mean honest to goodness fucking adventure. It seems to me there is not. I joined the Army during a time of war to look for some, and all I've found is disenchantment and all I've done is further my burgeoning drinking problem. (This may be a bit harsh but I don't care.)
I read articles and histories and see men and women described as "adventurers" and "world travelers" as if that were a job description. I read their bio's and wonder how such things were ever possible in this world. I mean these people strike out on their own before they're fucking old enough to shave. Imagine watching your family killed when you're 8, at 11 years old making your own way in the world, becoming an Indian Scout at 14, getting married to an outlaw and having a kid at 16.
Shit like that was commonplace in these people's lives. When I was 8 my Alamo was refusing to learn Cursive. (Which I am embarrassed/proud to say I still cannot read or write.)
When I was 14 all I wanted out of life was to touch a booby and my biggest worry wasn't getting scalped, it was asking a girl out. These people had killed a man with their bare hands around the same time I raiding Ralph and Karen's fridge for Wine Coolers.
And while I am jealous of these long dead G's I take solace in the fact that they never played Wizard Staff. They never speed down 81 doing 90 mph in the Green Monster with the windows down and The Who blasting. That kind of shit I would not trade for anything.
What I want is to combine the two. I want adventure and danger and infamy, but I also want Beer Pong, Facebook and personal hygiene.
Is there a space for a modern day adventurer? Or has the West been Won, the Last Frontier tamed and all the blank places on the map been filled in?

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