Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Disregard The Counter

What do you do when you want to get something out but its already out there? What do you do when you've said before what you want to say again? What do you write when you've already written? Why do I feel the urge to even do so?

I'm five days out from home and I'm scared. Its really hard for me to say that. I don't like being scared. I haven't been scared of anything in so long because I've spent years making myself numb. If you don't care about anything then you can't be afraid. If you don't care if you get hurt, then you're not afraid to get in fights. If you don't care if you're loved then you're not afraid to be alone. If you don't care if you succeed then you can't be afraid of failing. And If you don't care if you're alive then you're not afraid of dying.

But I care about coming home. And I care about being loved. And in five days when I get back and I get to hold her I know I won't be afraid. Everything will be ok.

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