Have you ever felt like you were truly, honestly going to die? I'm talking No Fucking Way are you walking away from this one. Fuck walking; you know its all gonna end with you on the ground in a pool of blood and twisted metal and/or a knife in your side. Maybe you have maybe you haven't, either way I don't have to tell you that feeling sucks. The only comparable feeling I have ever had is right after you almost die and you didn't have time to feel like it before. That feeling also sucks, worse I think because that feeling sticks with you. The first one is fleeting, like FUCK! wait... wait a second... NOT DEAD, YOU ARE NOT DEAD CALM DOWN. Then you feel pretty sweet because you just cheated death and now you feel badass. But that second one... man you are scared shitless because you now have all the time in the world to look back and see how you almost bought the fucking farm so fast you wouldn't even have seen it coming. You don't get the benefit of the adrenaline rush from your body when you mind tells you that you had better do something or you're toast. No the only feeling you get is that fucking pit in the bottom of your stomach that is physically painful because now you know that you are not even close to invincible.
Confronting your own mortality is a complex task. Depending on the way you do it you either end up feeling invincible or terrified. Strange how one experience can result in such polarized results, dependant only on timing.