There are tons of sayings about how important family is. Shit about how they'll always love you and whatnot. And about how you can choose your friends, but not your family. My issue is mostly with the sentiment of that last one. The idea behind it is that because you have no choice in the matter those people somehow become more important? I mean I just don't understand that. I would have to think the opposite. That is to say if I choose someone to be my friend, and I am under no obligation (be it situational or societal) to spend time or give a fuck about someone or group of someone's then isn't my bond with those who I choose to spend time with stronger? I mean that's the basis of marriage and starting a family of one's own; the idea that you pick someone to create your own family unit of your own volition.
I mean it might be just me, but I have a habit of building families. I mean I'm not hating on my biological one, but throughout much of my life they have been inadequate. Oh they have done a great job being my family and putting up with my shit, and I know they want me to be happy and blah blah blah, but there has never been any real communication. And that is really the basis of a family unit. So to make up for this lack I have built myself family units.
I don't think of each member as a mother or father or sister or whatever, those have stigmas attached oftentimes that do not carry over well. I try more just to consider these people as just that, people. People whom I love and care about, people who I do not judge, people who I will go to great lengths to help and simply put; people who I want to talk to and spend time with.
I just got done with Family Dinner, which is something I have instituted here. The concept is very simple: I get the people I care about here together and we eat a home made meal and watch TV and relax on a Sunday night.
I stole this idea in part from another family that I am not a part of, but were circumstances different I would gladly have been a part of. But before I got the idea from them deep down inside I already knew about it. In fact I wrote about it, more than 18 months ago. It was down in the RVA and some members of my family were there. I made chicken and we sat at a table and enjoyed the company of one and other. I have not forgotten that simple feeling of contentment, and that is why I am trying to recapture it here.
"Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place."