For The Record This Has To Do With Two Very Different Females

Dear Penis,

I know its time for another trip, but please, oh dear fucking holy gods above, below and on the sides DO NOT do what you're thinking about doing. ITS NOT WORTH IT.

Love,
Brain

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Heart,

You, Penis and I had our shot a long time ago. We blew it. I've been doing really good about her for a long-ass time. Shit, Penis moved on (and on and on...) like, 3 years ago. We would like to be friends again, but that can't happen if you get all twisted over dumb shit.

Love,
Brain

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Brain,

Fair enough. I promise to lock it up, but I can't be held responsible if we get drunk with her. That shit's on you.

Love,
Heart

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Brain,

GO FUCK YOURSELF. I ALREADY TEXTED HER. SHE IS DTF! HAHAHAHAHA

Love,
Penis

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Penis,

Please wear a condom this time.

Love,
Brain