I know I should quit smoking. The list of reasons why is long and valid and I have no desire to get into it now. Honestly half the time after I get done smoking a cigarette I feel somewhat sick.
But its hard. Its not just hard because of the addictive properties of Nicotine. Its not just hard because it has become a habit and something of a mental addiction. Its not just hard because its an outward manifestation of my inner self-destructive tendencies. And its not just hard because smoking gives you something to do when you're standing there with your finger up your nose looking like a jackass.
Its hard because there really is something to it. If there wasn't I wouldn't do it, 1.22 billion other people wouldn't currently be doing it, and pretty much everyone awesome/noteworthy/famous/infamous from history wouldn't have done it.
I'm not defending smoking from a health standpoint. I'm not saying anyone who is not smoking should be smoking. I'm not saying people who smoke a little should smoke more. I'm not saying children should smoke. I'm not saying just because other people have or do so should anyone. All I'm saying is I wish I was not banished from polite society for my use of tobacco.
Some people and the media and the government seem to revel in the passing of judgment on me because of a habit I have. They say I'm stupid and dirty and inconsiderate. They say I bow to 'peer pressure' and savvy ad campaigns and I'm somehow less than a contributing member of our society. Even people who smoke weed somehow consider themselves able to preach at me from the moral high ground. And while I don't think think pot is a harmful, nation-destroying drug I'll be fucking damned if some spacey burnout motherfucker thinks he or she can look down on me for smoking non-psychotropic substances allowed by law.
All I would like is acceptance. Acceptance that we are all subject to certain failings and dependencies. We all have our opiate, our comfort. Cigarettes or sex or God or Xbox or alcohol or weed or Xanax or weight lifting or coke or any number of other things. These are the things that help every one of us through every one of our days. Our sine qua non. What do we stand to gain by demonizing each other? Where does it get us?