Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Would Believe Was Taken?

First things first; I switched because 1) Everyone is doing it. And if you are all like "Well if everyone else jumped off a bridge would you?" the answer is yes, because I'd look like a fucking huge jackass if everyone else was hopping off shit left and right and I'm sitting all alone trying to take solace in the fact that I'm being my own person and living above the influence and blah blah blah don't do drugs and don't have sex and don't slash tires for no reason and so forth and so on.
Number 2: My old platform sucked
C.5: My old platform didn't want me to write today so it wouldn't let me so fuck that.

And now for bussiness. It has been a space between my writtings once again. This time though it was nothing more than a vacay. As ya'll know I went home(?) on leave for the holiday season and I had a fucking ball. I didn't get to see some peeps, but I saw many and had an adventure or two. But now I'm back in Texas and our training for deployment is really coming hard and fast. This week I have been in CLS class. Which is Combat LifeSaver certification class, which means I can treat the 3 leading causes of preventible battlefield deaths. (Bleedings, Obstructed Airway and Collapsed Lungs) This also means my arms are full of holes because today we did IV's, on each other. I want to stress the fact that this is not our jobs. We are NOT Medics and have none of the intelligence or practice they do. So we suck at it.
But that aside, a thought occured to me today in class that I may be one of the last people in this country to have. And while I like knew this information and it may not be a revilation to anyone (factuly speaking at least) it was to me. We are all so young!
Yeah sportsfans (did I just write that?) I know I already knew this, I know everyon else knows this, but in CLS class it really dawned on me. I mean my whole military career has had me surrounded 99% of the time with other Infantrymen or at least other Combat Arms jobs, which gives you a very different view than many other soldiers. What I mean is that in my job (and others like it) everyone has a very simple job to do, not a ton of responsibility (relitively speaking) and can be counted on to do that job because all the job asks is that you do what you're told. And you will NEVER be told to do anything that you can't do. EXAMPLE: "Run around this track 10 times" or "Shoot that target" or "Capture this man". All things any idot could do, provided they have the right mindset. But today I was being taught by my Battalion Medics, most of whom have been in the Army about as long as me. That doesn't scare me, not like I doubt their ability to save my life because they sure don't doubt my ability to protect them. It just drives home in a very real way that we are all young as balls. I mean here is a guy who is maybe 21, who has to know exactly what to do to save my life in a multiude of situations. Not only know how, but perform the action under duress, namely combat.
I fear I am not making any sense, but I still feel the need to attempt to make my point clear. It is all well and good for me to say that me and my battle buddies are the ones killing and dying for America or whatever, but the reality of that only hit me today. Maybe it wasn't just the medics, but also a class centered around our mortality that did it. I mean as stupid as it sounds we are 100% convinced we are immortal. That comes from our youth, our training and our ignorance, and to be honest even now I am positive I can't die. But I am afraid that my battles might. And what's more; they'll die because I am a shitty CLS. Kegge will bleed out from his femoral artery that pumps out 1.5oz of blood (1 standard shotglass-full) every heartbeat, Hauser will slowly asphyxiate from a collapsed lung and his last moments of life will be full of pain because I botched the Needle Chest Decompression, and I will have to look into Wong's eyes while he dies from a massive chestal contusion and I have to stop treatment to attempt to save someone else who has a chance of surviving long enough to get back to FOB.
If I get the chance to save a battle's life over there than this class was 1000000% worth it, but if I don't... well I don't know of anything else that is worth these nightmares. Because while I feel that 20 years old is not too young to die for a cause it is far too young to watch a friend die for any reason.

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